Seth's 50 Centers

– Find NFL playoff picks info at the bottom of the post

Stuck with nothing to do on a frigid Friday afternoon?

Boy, do I have the thing for you. How about a 1991 game between the Cubs and Pirates on the newly minted MLB Network?

I’m not sure why this game is on. I have seen a lot of the programming on the new channel, and as a die-hard baseball fan, I’ve been excited about it, but even I can’t wrap my arms around this one!

So, why don’t I make fun of it to try to enjoy it?

First, this is pretty funny as a Reds fan because the game is a WGN broadcast with current Reds on-air man Thom Brennaman calling the action. The younger Brennaman looked quite a bit different back then, as he traded back and forth with Harry Carey following a stint calling Reds games on TV the year before.

He and Steve Stone are calling the action and Stone sounds like he’s in the bottom of a well!

Wow, Stone just brought a new broadcasting tactic to the table. He wants “inquisitive baseball fans 18 and under” to mail, yes MAIL, any baseball questions to WGN Television. It’s 1991, folks, Al Gore hadn’t unleashed the interweb to the masses yet, I guess.

No scoreboard on the screen at all times, either. I guess that would’ve covered a bit too much of the screen.

Since it’s an April game, I guess Stoney hasn’t received any questions yet because they don’t have any to read, although Thom did just elicit any women over 18 to go ahead and send something Stone’s way. That Thom!

Thom just proclaimed that Stone might be a general manager one day. Guess that didn’t happen. The former Cubs homer got in a bit of trouble when he made some very un-homerlike comments about the Cubs when they failed to make the 2004 postseason. Now he’s on White Sox radio.

Still haven’t figured why this game is on the air. The title of the show is “All-Time Games”, but unless it’s just an exercise in showing that Barry Bonds did indeed once have a head smaller than a watermelon, I haven’t figured it out.

Andre “The Hawk” Dawson just lined a single into right-center field, so it’s not a Pirate no-hitter, although there he went, getting picked off.

No rails on the dugouts back then. It’s amazing the things that have happened over time for safety’s sake. It’s like watching an episode of Mad Men. “No, Mrs. Draper, you don’t have to worry about smoking or drinking, or doing jumps on your horse, while pregnant. I’m sure everything will be OK in there.”

Three Rivers Stadium. No better or worse than Riverfront in Cincinnati, but man was that place a toilet. I’ll never forget the first time I went there. We got to sit in $2.50 general admission seats in right field and the guy in front of us decided it was perfectly fine to alternate between cigarette and cigar all afternoon. Man, was he related to the Drapers? Anyway, my sister and Grandma didn’t like the smoke much. Makes it tough to enjoy your hot dog and peanuts.

It is pretty cool to keep hearing about upcoming Cubs games against the “World Champion” Cincinnati Reds. Truly a different time. 1990 felt so far removed from the Big Red Machine years of ’75 and ’76 as a kid, but it’s been five years longer between titles now than it was then, and it ain’t getting better anytime soon, Grasshopper!

Bobby Bonilla strides to the plate! Did he ever fall off the cliff soon after leaving Pittsburgh! I guess he did have a decent year in Baltimore in 1996, and he did end his career with 287 homers, but still, he was supposed to be the MAN when he signed that big contract with the Mets following the 1991 season.

Thom: “They play this song every year. ‘What should we do with a drunken sailor?’ I can’t figure out the meaning of it.”

Stone: “Well, the old pirate theme, you know, buccaneers, swashbuckling and the like…”

Uh, OK.

Bonilla just scored, giving the Buccos a 1-0 lead. Both teams have hits, so there isn’t a no-hitter involved in this “All-Time Game”.

It must be the match-up of sure hall of fame pitchers Randy Tomlin and Mike Harkey…right?

Bonds just scored on a sacrifice fly. The guy had wheels. Really, honest, he did.

Barry Larkin is on the MLB Network. I’m enjoying that. But he, Al Leiter and Harold Reynolds are now breaking down batting stances of old-time hitters, famous and otherwise, in a preview of tonight’s “Hot Stove” show, which will include a guy who mimics batting stances. That should be fun, but it’s a perfect example that it’s a stretch to have a network focusing on just one sport, especially during the offseason.

Ah, Jerome Walton. Man, was he going to be a star. Guys like Walton wreaked havoc on a kid’s baseball card collection. You always wanted to get the best rookie cards, and a lot of them. So, when his 1989 Topps card with the rookie trophy on it became available, you’d better believe some stupid trades were made for that bad boy! Of course, most cards from my childhood didn’t turn out to be worth much, so trading a Jose Canseco for a Jerome Walton didn’t hurt anybody, did it?

Walton actually played as a bench guy on the ’94 and ’95 Reds teams that were pretty solid, but he never really lived up to the hype, like the Cubs’ Dwight Smith, the Mets’ Gregg Jefferies and even St. Louis’ Todd Zeile, although Jefferies and Zeile both put together careers of 10-plus years with multiple teams.

Here’s another one; Matt Nokes. I had some friends in Michigan when Nokes came up. You couldn’t get a Nokes card north of the border, making my small horde of his 1988 Topps card pretty desirable. Hey, he did hit 32 homers as a rookie and he was the AL’s silver slugger at the catching position.

OK, I’ve had enough. This game was barely watchable if you were a Cubs or Pirates fan in ’91, let alone now. I’ll just have to trust that the folks at MLB Network really had a reason for putting this one on the air, but I still don’t get it.

NFL Picks

I’m sure the fine people of Arizona, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Philadelphia are excited about their teams’ potential chances this weekend, and playing with a chance to get to the Super Bowl can be an exciting time as a fan if I remember my childhood correctly, but for me it’s just plain boring!

The only team remaining that I even find interesting to watch is Arizona, and the Cardinals aren’t that good a team, yet.

This season has gone from captivating to monotonous, but maybe the games will be compelling.

I was rooting for a chance to be 0-8 in the playoffs — seriously, I would’ve gladly seen San Diego win to give me eight straight losses in the picks — but I had to settle for 1-7.

NFL Results

Adman 2-2
Grandpa 2-2
JMB 2-2
The CPA 1-3
Seth 1-3
Kara 1-3
Jeremiah 1-3
Crazed Wolverine 1-3

Overall Standings

Adman 4-4
JMB 4-4
Crazed Wolverine 3-5
The CPA 2-6
Kara 2-6
Jeremiah 2-6
Grandpa 2-6
Brian 2-2
Big Game 2-2
Seth 1-7
Randy 1-3

Conference Championship Games

Philadelphia at Arizona
Baltimore at Pittsburgh

Make your picks by using the “Comments” section under the headline.